Leave The Good Things At The Door

This quote refers to the peace story told my Tim during Spin, one of the chapters in this amazing book.  The story is about a man who went AWOL (absent without leaving) and had fun times with a Red Cross nurse. He then, eagerly went back to war and when asked why, he answered with the following quote:

“All that peace man, it felt so good it hurt. I want to hurt it back.”

What happens in war, I don’t know. What one feels after being in war, I don’t feel. But what is so interesting about this book is that you can get a feel of that dull boredom. It’s almost as if you opened your eyes and for a second you were there, you were Tim, in Vietnam, at the intersection between past and present. I feel like a soldier and although I can’t understand what it feels like, it’s almost as if I were nodding, accepting Tim’s stories and trying to forget the impossible.

When I read this quote, I literally nodded at the soldier and almost felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for everyone because it wasn’t their fault, war wasn’t their fault. They had been thrown in there, to kill each other and wait for it to be over; no one told them how much they would change, how the agony would consume them, no one mentioned peace would hurt.

This quote is the perfect example of how much war damages the human being. One would think that peace amidst war would create joy and relief but it does the complete opposite. It makes you feel dirty, it feels wrong; like cleaning your M-16 the wrong way, like packing the wrong type of grenade. Peace is wrong because you are in the middle of chaos and crime and violence. Peace is a burden, because you are supposed to feel savage, and wild, and angry; you shouldn’t feel happy, you shouldn’t be having fun with a Red Cross nurse. Peace is not accepted in war.

This soldier felt too good next to the nurse, he felt too clean, too happy until he realized where he was, what he should be doing. He claims he wants to hurt peace back…but why? Is this what soldiers do? Yes, they leave their moral, their feelings, their memories and their values back at home, with their wide eyed high school girlfriends wearing culottes because peace and joy are not welcomed during war time.

In war, you better take whatever makes you smile and turn it into evil. 

Remember this: If you are happy, you are doing something wrong.